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March Madness Super-Animal Showdown!

March means the NCAA Basketball Tournament here in the United States, but more important for loyal Longbox Graveyard readers, it also marks the return of comic book March Madness!

Last year we matched great comic book second bananas in a sixteen-sidekick superhero tournament, with Bucky Barnes coming from behind to defeat Robin in the final!

This year, we’re going primal, with sixteen comic book critters facing off in the March Madness Super-Animal Showdown!

Legion of Super-Pets

The guidelines for a character’s inclusion in the tournament are simple:

  • They must be an animal.
  • They must be super.
  • They must make their first appearance in a comic book.

Working from this criteria, the March Madness Super-Animal Showdown Committee (me) offers the following preliminary list and seeds:

  1. Rocket Raccoon: Furious and furry star of The Guardians of the Galaxy.
  2. Krypto: Superboy’s loyal space hound.
  3. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: All four for the price of one entry!
  4. Howard The Duck: Trapped in tournament he never made.
  5. Gorilla Grodd: The Flash’s simian arch-enemy.
  6. Ace The Bat Hound: Batman’s redacted pet.
  7. Lockjaw: Wurf.
  8. Comet: Supergirl’s flying horse!
  9. Streaky: Supergirl’s flying cat!
  10. Lockheed: Kitty Pryde’s dragon companion.
  11. Throg: The Frog of Thunder!
  12. Redwing: The Falcon’s … uh … falcon!
  13. The Spectacular Spider-Ham: Puntastic Spidey simulacrum.
  14. Proty: All versions of the Legion’s protoplasmic pal.
  15. Captain Carrot: Leader of the Zoo Crew.
  16. Cosmo: Space dog and Rocket Raccoon’s arch-rival!
  17. Detective Chimp: World’s Greatest Chimp Detective.
  18. Beppo: Last monkey of Krypton.
  19. Storm: Aquaman’s Seahorse!

You will notice that the last three names on this list are in italics … this is because the field for the March Madness Super-Animal Showdown is limited to sixteen entries! As of this hour, Detective Chimp, Beppo, and Storm are on the outside looking in …

Super-Animals ... extinct??

… unless YOU DEMAND OTHERWISE!

The floor is now open to argue over the field for the March Madness Super-Animal Showdown! Post your opinions, in the comments section, below:

  • Think Beppo, Storm, or Detective Chimp belongs in the field? Tell me who they replace!
  • Have I overlooked a worthy candidate? How about Devil Dinosaur? Maybe Aquaman’s giant octopus pal, Topo? Sound off!
  • Do you take issue with my seeding? Tell me why Rocket shouldn’t be #1, or why Gorilla Grodd doesn’t deserve the nod at #5.

The official bracket of sixteen — and our first round of voting — will appear here on Monday, March 16th. That gives you one week to help me improve our bracket, after which … may the best Super-Animal win!

Here is the schedule for the entire March Madness Super-Animal Tournament:

  • March 9: Selection Monday
  • March 16: The Round of Sixteen
  • March 23: Elite Eight
  • March 30: Final Four
  • April 6: Championship!

All right … get commenting!

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About Paul O'Connor

Revelations and retro-reviews from a world where it is always 1978, published once a month or so at www.longboxgraveyard.com!

Posted on March 9, 2015, in March Madness! and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 40 Comments.

  1. First of all, don’t remind me of last year’s disgraceful results. Reading through some old Captain Marvels recently reminded me of what a whiny, obnoxious punk (not to mention jock sniffer) that Bucky was.

    Anyway, I disregard Storm as a potential contestant, though I’m tempted by Topo, and even a little by Devil Dinosaur. Anyway, I’ll add Detective Chimp and Beppo (wahddya got against primates, anyway?). I have no compunction about getting rid of Cosmo because, frankly, I’ve never even heard of him. I guess I’ll say get rid the Spectacular Spider-Ham, though this is a tougher call. I’d also argue that Proty (who saved Lightning Lad’s life, after all, and is beloved by many Legion of Super-Heroes faithful) and Captain Carrot (who did of course actually have his own title) should be seeded higher. I can see this being very Marvel-centric, though.

    Like

    • Your comments are noted, Dave! I will re-examine my seeding, and it should please you to know that my Marvel bias should be offset by at least one non-Marvel super-animal who is inbound with a bullet — (the original) Captain Marvel’s prime nemesis, the wormy Mister Mind!

      (And I am fast coming to conclude that this field needs to expand to 32 critters).

      Like

      • I am on board with 32 critters! I knew I was forgetting somebody. Marvel has many advantages over DC, but when i comes to super animals, I think not! Come to think of it, i’m sure there are more talking apes in the DC universe, such as Monsieur Mallah and probably some characters from Kamandi.

        Like

  2. K-9 I. P. freely

    Do any bite on a towel ?

    Like

  3. May have to move up Peter Porker thanks to the latest Spider Man mega thread.

    Like

  4. Underwater Attack Cat

    From my division @ NAS JAX: (after a long argument/conversation)

    Mighty Mouse, The superman of the animal world.
    Hong Kong Fuey
    Godzilla
    Herculoids
    He-Man’s Battle Cat (Cringer)
    Gleek, the Wonder Twins’ Pet
    Pikachu (or any other Pokémon…but then you’d be here forever)

    Like

    • Worthy creatures one and all, but surely they first appeared in film or television, which invalidates them for consideration per my entirely made-up (but clearly stated) rules. Plus, if we open the doors to cartoon animals, Bugs Bunny wipes the floor with everyone …

      Like

  5. Horace Austin

    What the…??? No, Zabu? How about some love for the Savage Land?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Zabu is a foolish oversight — I will find a way to get him into the field!

      (Though cruel fate might face him off with Streaky in the first round, taking out half the cat contingent before the seats are warm).

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Im suprised no devil dinosaur! And i thought detective chimp would be a definite

    Like

  7. March Madness! Brings out the beast in otherwise civilized people.
    Godzilla? Is he an animal or a monster? Love GDZ but he didn’t debut in a comic, so is he disqualified?
    Proty? Alien or animal? If including aliens then…Superman?
    And yeah? Where’s Zabu?
    Last year Robin was robbed! I’m thinking conspiracy: Marvel hired some goons to vote last minute for the “jock sniffer” (love that!)
    Isn’t it unfair to pit “humanoid” characters like that scurrilous raccoon and Howard the Mallard and Arachno-porcine against real animal, non-speaking characters like Krypto? Probably too late to rethink the list, but it’s kind of like the Anaheim Ducks playing against the Arizona Coyotes! Unfair advantage!
    Bring on the MADNESS!

    Like

    • First of all, there was definitely some ballot-box-stuffing going on with Bucky’s win last year. In every round, Bucky came back at the end atop a crazy surge of votes. This was suspicious, irregular, and entirely welcome at Longbox Graveyard, which thrives on tin foil hat conspiracy theories and welcomes any kind of engagement on behalf of the electorate, the more underhanded, the better! Remember, kids, when the voting starts next week — vote early, and vote often!

      And I hear you about partitioning the field between animals on two legs, and those on all fours … but at this point, I think it is Krypto’s tournament to lose (despite his #2 seeding), so he really doesn’t need any more favors. Krypto would clean up against a non-anthropomorphic field. Let’s put him against the Furries and see what happens!

      Like

  8. Aw, you jokers just like Streaky because of his name!
    Krypto! I’m a dog person. Also, he’s a relic from a gentler, kinder world.
    No primates! They are like stinky little people.
    Honorable mention to Rocket and Devil Dinosaur.

    Like

  9. Forget Storm – Topo definitely deserves a spot! And I realize the super-pets are already well-represented, but no love for Titano?

    Like

  10. Yeah, if we’re expanding to 32, I think Toppo and Storm definitely deserve a place.

    Like

  11. Given that a monkey from Krypton could totally kick my ass, I have to vote for Beppo.

    Like

  1. Pingback: March Madness Super-Animal Showdown — The Round of 32! | Longbox Graveyard

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